I had to admit it's been a while since my last post hehe...sorry guys,i jz can't find enough determination to take care of this blue forest...
But now i'm back!!!Feels so good to come back..For my friend who is constantly waiting for my resurrection,thanks for your ultimate patience and ofcourse your god-strength support..
I know fairly well that if I still keep my distance from the computer i'm going to loose my close friends soon enough..that is why i had to keep this going, have to put a lot more effort into blogging and keep updated..
Weeeellllll...there's another reason behind all this.Lately I'm pretty moody,and that is exactly when i feel strongly about writing out my feelings..but i keep forgetting the stupid pastword,failed to log in every time i have the urge and need to write...
Now everything dissolve themselves into thin air,partly because i just couldn't care less..bt i kind of like it this way,at least now i won't have to put a fake smile over my face every single time..Major crisis over!!!
Exam is ALWAYS around the corner,feels like im having exam every once a month...i guess by that time im goin to be busy flipping through pages again.But negligence of this endearing blue forest is never going to happened again!!!!!...........( i do hope so.........hehe )
2009年7月3日星期五
2008年5月12日星期一
11/5--->JPA & happy dissapointing day
It has been a long long time since i last posted a blogpost.Trying to heal myself from the pain that nearly gave me a heart attack,which is still eating me from within.
Yes,I admit that im still very frustrated about the hard fact that im not getting anything.No scholarship,no matriculation..........nothing.Come on!!I deserved something better than this!!
And then finally........the fateful day has come to check the results of JPA.My hands were shaking and my legs were treeeeeeeeeembling uncontrollably when a friend of mine,purposely send a message for me from kl just to tell me that JPA results are out!Oh the message really 'brighten' up my day........but thank you so much for telling me.After the shocking news i nearly cracked the laptop into half,because i can't get into the stupid website.Than suddenly,i received a call.............
"Hello?Yo i finally get in the web!!Faster give me your ic number i help you check!!!!!!" ............. (obviously too boring and had nothing better to do...)
My larynx make out the 12 digits with some difficulties,and my heart was pumping harder it was suppose to be.
"Yeah,u didn't get it.Same as me wahaha...."She said something about appeal and names of the lucky one but my head was buzzing and i couldn't catch up with her sentences.I replied her with mainly 'oh' , 'ah' , 'mm' and the phone call ended without me saying byebye.
Its weird.A heart broken moment without tears to complete the picture.So i guess JPA stabs me in the heart,but not enough to bring me down.
Yes,I admit that im still very frustrated about the hard fact that im not getting anything.No scholarship,no matriculation..........nothing.Come on!!I deserved something better than this!!
And then finally........the fateful day has come to check the results of JPA.My hands were shaking and my legs were treeeeeeeeeembling uncontrollably when a friend of mine,purposely send a message for me from kl just to tell me that JPA results are out!Oh the message really 'brighten' up my day........but thank you so much for telling me.After the shocking news i nearly cracked the laptop into half,because i can't get into the stupid website.Than suddenly,i received a call.............
"Hello?Yo i finally get in the web!!Faster give me your ic number i help you check!!!!!!" ............. (obviously too boring and had nothing better to do...)
My larynx make out the 12 digits with some difficulties,and my heart was pumping harder it was suppose to be.
"Yeah,u didn't get it.Same as me wahaha...."She said something about appeal and names of the lucky one but my head was buzzing and i couldn't catch up with her sentences.I replied her with mainly 'oh' , 'ah' , 'mm' and the phone call ended without me saying byebye.
Its weird.A heart broken moment without tears to complete the picture.So i guess JPA stabs me in the heart,but not enough to bring me down.
2008年5月1日星期四
Interview again!!!
5月5号，要去interview。
完全没有准备，不管是physically或mentally都没有。
If i get this scholarship,i'll be flying to somewhere far from malaysia and study overseas.
But...（why does good thing always comes with a but? ...ToT...)
after my studies,i'll have to come back(absolutely not whole heartedly...) and work as a MATH TEACHER,teaching those pathetic secondary school!! (at least my school is worse enough to call it pathetic...)
Working with the OMS government department is horrible...teaching in a school under the supervisation of the government is even worst!!!!!I'm not insulting those honourable teachers out there,who take up the responsibility to teach our future leader,but still i hate the idea of becoming a teacher...and certainly could not imagine myself being one.
Maybe some of you might ask why,if i hate being a teacher so much,did i apply the scholarship in the first place???Well,both of my parents are dedicated and responsible teachers,so they think i might inherited their 'teacher' genes in me and maybe later i'll realised being a teacher suits me afterall!!!Come on lah~~~even i myself does not believe that...
The interview consists of four parts,
1. INSAK test. Its like a sahsiah/moral test,useless...
2. Ujian penulisan bahasa ingerris.I can't write factual,oh god...
3. Individual interview.This is the part i fear most.I ruined my jpa interview before because i can't speak fluently due to my brain blockage.Unfortunately,history has the tendency to repeat themselves......
4. group interview.Well,i won't speak unless the interviewer asked me to.No problem...
May GOD bless me so that i won't throw face AGAIN infront of those anti-pig people.
Amen......
完全没有准备，不管是physically或mentally都没有。
If i get this scholarship,i'll be flying to somewhere far from malaysia and study overseas.
But...（why does good thing always comes with a but? ...ToT...)
after my studies,i'll have to come back(absolutely not whole heartedly...) and work as a MATH TEACHER,teaching those pathetic secondary school!! (at least my school is worse enough to call it pathetic...)
Working with the OMS government department is horrible...teaching in a school under the supervisation of the government is even worst!!!!!I'm not insulting those honourable teachers out there,who take up the responsibility to teach our future leader,but still i hate the idea of becoming a teacher...and certainly could not imagine myself being one.
Maybe some of you might ask why,if i hate being a teacher so much,did i apply the scholarship in the first place???Well,both of my parents are dedicated and responsible teachers,so they think i might inherited their 'teacher' genes in me and maybe later i'll realised being a teacher suits me afterall!!!Come on lah~~~even i myself does not believe that...
The interview consists of four parts,
1. INSAK test. Its like a sahsiah/moral test,useless...
2. Ujian penulisan bahasa ingerris.I can't write factual,oh god...
3. Individual interview.This is the part i fear most.I ruined my jpa interview before because i can't speak fluently due to my brain blockage.Unfortunately,history has the tendency to repeat themselves......
4. group interview.Well,i won't speak unless the interviewer asked me to.No problem...
May GOD bless me so that i won't throw face AGAIN infront of those anti-pig people.
Amen......
2008年4月27日星期日
11:50 p.m. 的诱惑......
11:50 p.m.
一个令人把持不住的时分。
在神经线最敏感脆弱的这一刻
你的铜体让我有种......
想犯罪的冲动。
在被你迷惑的情况下 轻轻的
吻了你
你开始溶化 湿润了我的双唇
再用舌尖探测你
你的味道出奇的甜
甜得我的心在颤抖 味蕾想自杀
轻轻吸一口
深藏在内的蜜汁毫无保留地占领我的口腔...
啊 舒服极了!
深夜吃冰淇淋真的超爽
不过
第二天腰应该会不见掉吧...
这该死的cornetto!!!
2008年4月24日星期四
free rice for everyone!!!
你知道你的知识值多少钱吗？你知道懂得一个英文生字的价值是多少吗？让我来告诉你，你会的一个生字=20 grains 的生米哦！
请各位知识分子不要骂我，我并不是在贬低你们的智慧只值20 grains 的米。但试想想，智慧终于可以被实质的物体来测量了！这不是一件美妙的事吗？哇哈哈开玩笑的啦。其实事实是昨天超无聊，所以就在别人的部落格里四处游荡，结果让我发现一个很有意义的游戏，那就是http://www.freerice.com/...........
所有认为自己英文一级棒的，认为什么英文生字都难不倒自己的朋友......对！就是你，哦不要左望右望......快快去浏览以上的网站，用自己对英文生字的了解去帮助有需要的人！！！游戏规则非常简单，只要你答对一题，那个慈善机构 world food programme 就会捐出20 grains的生米给那些长期缺粮的国家，让那些长期挨饿的人民有餐饱肚。
虽然 grains 是英美制最小的单位，1 grains 只等于0.0648克，20 grains就等于1.296克，但是聚少就能成多，只要每个人去回答一题（不要酱吝啬啦，答多几题不会死的啦...），很快这世上不会再有人需要尝试挨饿的滋味 ，不会再有人死于饥荒...
我昨天已成功捐出1080 grains/70 gram 了，离我一公斤的目标还有一段很远很远的距离...(一公斤的生米=772条问题）...我也明白现在白米的收割量愈来愈少了，可能过几天要等人家来捐米给我们吃...ToT... 不过我们不吃饭可以吃别的东西，那些贫穷国家是什么都没得吃的！！所以帮得就帮，况且这个捐米活动又不用我出钱（这是重点！！），何乐而不为呢？
那个网站还播放了到第三国家派米当时的情况，看了之后相信会更有冲动想贡献一些什么给没有能力养活自己人民的国家。大家一起加油吧！饥荒这两个字消失的日子，离我们不远了......
请各位知识分子不要骂我，我并不是在贬低你们的智慧只值20 grains 的米。但试想想，智慧终于可以被实质的物体来测量了！这不是一件美妙的事吗？哇哈哈开玩笑的啦。其实事实是昨天超无聊，所以就在别人的部落格里四处游荡，结果让我发现一个很有意义的游戏，那就是http://www.freerice.com/...........
所有认为自己英文一级棒的，认为什么英文生字都难不倒自己的朋友......对！就是你，哦不要左望右望......快快去浏览以上的网站，用自己对英文生字的了解去帮助有需要的人！！！游戏规则非常简单，只要你答对一题，那个慈善机构 world food programme 就会捐出20 grains的生米给那些长期缺粮的国家，让那些长期挨饿的人民有餐饱肚。
虽然 grains 是英美制最小的单位，1 grains 只等于0.0648克，20 grains就等于1.296克，但是聚少就能成多，只要每个人去回答一题（不要酱吝啬啦，答多几题不会死的啦...），很快这世上不会再有人需要尝试挨饿的滋味 ，不会再有人死于饥荒...
我昨天已成功捐出1080 grains/70 gram 了，离我一公斤的目标还有一段很远很远的距离...(一公斤的生米=772条问题）...我也明白现在白米的收割量愈来愈少了，可能过几天要等人家来捐米给我们吃...ToT... 不过我们不吃饭可以吃别的东西，那些贫穷国家是什么都没得吃的！！所以帮得就帮，况且这个捐米活动又不用我出钱（这是重点！！），何乐而不为呢？
那个网站还播放了到第三国家派米当时的情况，看了之后相信会更有冲动想贡献一些什么给没有能力养活自己人民的国家。大家一起加油吧！饥荒这两个字消失的日子，离我们不远了......
2008年4月22日星期二
爱上宫崎峻!
自从那一次的偶遇，我的脑袋每个角落都有他投注的影子，想忘也忘不了...
宫崎峻，我爱你!!aishiteru!!
如果各位对宫崎峻这三个字毫无头绪的话，那么让我来告诉你，他是神!!!他是动漫界至高无上的神!!!
我对他的爱是从〖千与千寻〗开始的。这一部动漫让我恋上了宫崎峻那细腻并丝毫无差的画功，那无比细腻的线条勾勒出男女主角淡淡却深刻的轮廓，让男女主角成为有生命的个体，让整个动漫都活了起来。整个故事的表达方式别具一格（别具一格＝特别难明白...），男女主角之间暧昧不需要特别说明的关系都让我深深地着迷，看得我如痴如醉。（我因此而重看了好几遍...）
看了千与千寻，我便开始四处觅寻‘神’其他的著作。我陆陆续续看了〖幽灵公主〗和〖猫的报恩〗，（当时动漫来源不多，只看到这几部 ToT ）到后来觉得寻寻觅觅的过程很烦人，所以对宫崎峻的认识就停留在那两部动漫，而那爱着宫崎峻的心也渐渐冷了下来...
过了上千个日子，忽然听到朋友提起他和他最新的作品〖哈尔移动的城堡〗，那颗已冷却的心渐渐有了温度。过了不久便上网看了这部动漫，我知道我又再次上瘾了...（哈尔帅到毙！！sophie 超可爱！！）
宫崎峻，我爱你!!aishiteru!!
如果各位对宫崎峻这三个字毫无头绪的话，那么让我来告诉你，他是神!!!他是动漫界至高无上的神!!!
我对他的爱是从〖千与千寻〗开始的。这一部动漫让我恋上了宫崎峻那细腻并丝毫无差的画功，那无比细腻的线条勾勒出男女主角淡淡却深刻的轮廓，让男女主角成为有生命的个体，让整个动漫都活了起来。整个故事的表达方式别具一格（别具一格＝特别难明白...），男女主角之间暧昧不需要特别说明的关系都让我深深地着迷，看得我如痴如醉。（我因此而重看了好几遍...）
看了千与千寻，我便开始四处觅寻‘神’其他的著作。我陆陆续续看了〖幽灵公主〗和〖猫的报恩〗，（当时动漫来源不多，只看到这几部 ToT ）到后来觉得寻寻觅觅的过程很烦人，所以对宫崎峻的认识就停留在那两部动漫，而那爱着宫崎峻的心也渐渐冷了下来...
过了上千个日子，忽然听到朋友提起他和他最新的作品〖哈尔移动的城堡〗，那颗已冷却的心渐渐有了温度。过了不久便上网看了这部动漫，我知道我又再次上瘾了...（哈尔帅到毙！！sophie 超可爱！！）
2008年4月16日星期三
10A1 1B3 的下场...
SPM拿到10个A1没有想象中开心，因为多了个B3。不如大家来猜猜看我什么科目拿B3？哇哈哈答案就是我亲爱的 Bahasa Cina...记得那不幸的一天，天气真晴朗。我满怀希望的踏入校园，准备领取11A1的佳绩。记得当时校长一直在讲废话，停到我耳朵快烂了。但让我受到严重脑震荡的一句话是：“今天，我（校长）的女儿也领了成绩，她拿到全科A1！！大家掌声鼓励鼓励！！”我在虚伪的掌声中默默地吐血，因为简单来说只要没拿华语，拿全科A1没什么难度。（而且那位可爱的校长全家是不吃猪肉的...）
经过一连串废话残酷的折磨，终于来到当天的高潮，那就是公布得到全科A1的学生名单！可想而知上台的大多数都是没拿华语的Banana,偶尔有一两只M开头的族群上台为族争光。各位，全校只有一位，就只有那么一位有拿华文的仁兄获得政府的赦免，得到了全科A1！！当时场面轰动，所有华人高声欢呼！那位仁兄站上台时威风十足，走路有风，只差没人上台献花。哦！宏兄，你是我的偶像！！！
全科A1的名单念完了，当中没有我的名字。但是我告诉自己全科A也不错，于是便很从容镇定地到级任老师面前找我的成绩。（对，你没看错，是要自己找的。）当我看见我的名字正要伸手迈向它时，忽然级任老师以迅雷不及掩耳的速度抽起我的成绩，嘴边挂着阴森的笑容对我说：“Tengok,apa subject dapat B?”。我一言不发，抢过了成绩就转身离去。如果她这样做的目的是为了看我失望的表情，那么恭喜她，她成功了。当时我不停地告诉自己，绝对不可以在这些不吃猪肉的族群面前败下阵来。虽然面无表情，双眼干涩，但我应该是忍到面都青了。
成绩终于到手了，但接下来的挑战更艰辛。首先，我拿着成绩去银行拿奖金，结果银行职员告诉我有个B就什么也没有。再来，我申请一个又一个的奖学金，因为一个B的缘故，个个音讯全无。Matriculation 我也有申请，结果也是扑了个空。虽然我了解申请奖学金，很多时候都是靠运气的，但潜意识下还是会怪自己为什么把自己的母语考得那么烂，让梁老师（我们的华文老师）失望了。除了责怪我自己，我还要怪政府！！为了将我们逼入死角，将华文连根拔起而不择手段的卑鄙下三流的政府要来干吗？让他们那一族继续执政，我们还有未来吗？
我写这篇文章并不是要攻击任何人，只是为了抒发我这个拿到10A1 1B3却什么渣都没有那种不满的情绪。如果有谁看了觉得我很欠扁就打你自己的荧光幕吧。
经过一连串废话残酷的折磨，终于来到当天的高潮，那就是公布得到全科A1的学生名单！可想而知上台的大多数都是没拿华语的Banana,偶尔有一两只M开头的族群上台为族争光。各位，全校只有一位，就只有那么一位有拿华文的仁兄获得政府的赦免，得到了全科A1！！当时场面轰动，所有华人高声欢呼！那位仁兄站上台时威风十足，走路有风，只差没人上台献花。哦！宏兄，你是我的偶像！！！
全科A1的名单念完了，当中没有我的名字。但是我告诉自己全科A也不错，于是便很从容镇定地到级任老师面前找我的成绩。（对，你没看错，是要自己找的。）当我看见我的名字正要伸手迈向它时，忽然级任老师以迅雷不及掩耳的速度抽起我的成绩，嘴边挂着阴森的笑容对我说：“Tengok,apa subject dapat B?”。我一言不发，抢过了成绩就转身离去。如果她这样做的目的是为了看我失望的表情，那么恭喜她，她成功了。当时我不停地告诉自己，绝对不可以在这些不吃猪肉的族群面前败下阵来。虽然面无表情，双眼干涩，但我应该是忍到面都青了。
成绩终于到手了，但接下来的挑战更艰辛。首先，我拿着成绩去银行拿奖金，结果银行职员告诉我有个B就什么也没有。再来，我申请一个又一个的奖学金，因为一个B的缘故，个个音讯全无。Matriculation 我也有申请，结果也是扑了个空。虽然我了解申请奖学金，很多时候都是靠运气的，但潜意识下还是会怪自己为什么把自己的母语考得那么烂，让梁老师（我们的华文老师）失望了。除了责怪我自己，我还要怪政府！！为了将我们逼入死角，将华文连根拔起而不择手段的卑鄙下三流的政府要来干吗？让他们那一族继续执政，我们还有未来吗？
我写这篇文章并不是要攻击任何人，只是为了抒发我这个拿到10A1 1B3却什么渣都没有那种不满的情绪。如果有谁看了觉得我很欠扁就打你自己的荧光幕吧。
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